


Mark of Genesis

by ThatFangirl_Ally



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: ALL WE SEE IS SKY FOR FOREVER, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Powers, Bisexual Zoe Murphy, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Connor and Zoe are actually on good terms, Connor calm down man, Did Jeremy really get a handle on his anxiety?, Emphasis on the "had", Evan Hansen is trying his best, Evan had a twin brother, Evan's anxiety didn't come from nowhere, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gay Connor Murphy, He just needs to calm down xD, Heavy Angst, Heidi Hansen Is a Good Mother, Heidi Hansen Tries, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I torture my main characters fite meh, I watched the Umbrella Academy and couldn't help imagining Evan seeing ghosts, Jared Kleinman Is a Good Friend, Jared needs to stop eating bathbombs, Jeremy's Dad puts on pants, Lesbian Alana Beck, Multi, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Nothing, There are multiple relationships but treebros is the main focus, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Trans Michael Mell, Treebros, gay evan hansen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-07 19:56:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18239504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFangirl_Ally/pseuds/ThatFangirl_Ally
Summary: Evan Hansen has anxiety. Everyone who has ever even glanced at him can tell that. But, no one knows what made his anxiety so bad. Everyone assumes that it was his dad leaving that made his anxiety worse. Oh, how they couldn't be more wrong.Connor Murphy has anger issues. Everyone knows this. No one knows why, or even wants to ask. But, Connor sometimes wishes someone would. What he wouldn't give for someone to understand him...





	1. "You just can't stop, can you?"

Evan sighed as he watched the sunrise, sitting against the tree outside his house, wishing not for the first time that everything would just stop. He wishes he would've been granted the ability to pause time, but NO! He just had to see dead people.

"You know, you could stand to talk to yourself a little less," Kai stood beside Evan, arms crossed as he stared disapprovingly down at his twin.

"How do you know I wasn't talking to you?" Kai was the only person Evan didn't stutter around. Too bad he was dead.

"Because, you were screaming at the top of your lungs and you usually don't do that when you're talking to a dead person," Kai smirked at him, reaching out a hand to help Evan up. Evan frowned at this before waving his brother away, his hand passing right through Kai's own.

Evan sighed, pushing himself off of the tree as he made his way into the house. He laid in his bed, pretending to be asleep as he heard his mom walking around the house. He smelled breakfast being cooked, but he stopped himself from getting up and going to check it out. He's a naturally heavy sleeper, so just the smell of pancakes, even blueberry ones, wasn't enough to have him up and out of bed.

Evan was snapped out of his thoughts by his alarm, silencing it just in time to hear Heidi making her way up the stairs and to her son's room. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it seem like he was sleeping. He didn't want to make his mother worry about him even more than she already did.

Heidi made her way into his room just as he had opened up his laptop. He was just about to start on his letter, something that he constantly forgets to do. Although, it's not like it helps him at all when he does them. "So, you just decided not to eat last night?" Was what she had decided was the best possible sentence she could've greeted him with that morning.

"W-What?" Evan's head snapped up to look at Heidi so fast, Heidi was afraid he would give himself whiplash. She didn't show it though as she waved the twenty dollar bill that she had left Evan the night before through the air.

"Honey, I thought you were getting better at ordering. It's really not that hard to order yourself some food," Heidi sounded genuine, even as she said the most blatant lie Evan had ever heard. Although, to Heidi it wasn't a lie. Heidi didn't find it that hard to order food, and she didn't find it that hard to pay someone for giving her the food. But, Evan is not his mother. He would like to see Heidi stay calm when she's got twenty or so ghosts just blabbing at her to 'take the goddamned food."

But, Heidi didn't have twenty or so ghosts blabbing at her. She was perfectly normal, unlike her sadly strange son. "I-I am. I just.. I wasn't hungry... First day of school jitters," Evan stuttered out, avoiding eye contact. He was avoiding eye contact with his own mother. Who avoids eye contact with their mother just because she was talking? Evan Hansen, that's fucking who. At least he was slightly telling the truth. He was going to order some food, but then thought about the possibilities that lie ahead and didn't feel very hungry anymore.

"Have you been writing those letters to yourself? 'Dear Evan Hansen, this is going to be a good day and here's why.'" And, just like that, they were onto another topic of conversation. Admittedly, Evan had not wanted to talk about his letters. But, since his mom wanted to talk about it, it seemed that he had to.

"I-I started one," Evan told her, leaving out details. The only conversations he seemed to have with his mom lately were about him and his anxiety, which was pretty fucking sad.

"Those letters are important honey, they're gonna help you build your confidence," Heidi tried to reassure her son. She ruffled his hair as he pouted, swatting her hands away.

"I guess," Evan replied, trying his best to not sound hopeless. He didn't want to disappoint his mother further because he couldn't think of anything that would possibly make this day go alright.

"Come on, Evan, can we try to have an optimistic outlook?" Heidi tried for a smile, but Evan knew she was getting annoyed with his answers. "I know, you can go around today and ask the other kids to sign your cast! How about that?" Evan inwardly grimaced at the potential social interaction, but kept his features smooth on the outside.

"Perfect," Evan took the sharpie his mother was holding out to him, seeing Kai shaking his head in the corner. It was a good thing Heidi couldn't see him, or else she would probably be even more annoyed with her son.

"Shit, I have to get to work. I've got class tonight, but how about we do a Taco Tuesday tomorrow?" Heidi seemed hopeful as she asked this. She was already making her way out the door but she stopped in the doorway. "I'm proud of you already."

"Oh. Good," Evan grimaced at the almost depressed look on his mother's face as she closed his door. He sighed, getting up to get changed. As he changed, he felt eyes on him. Turning around after fitting a blue and white striped polo over his annoying cast, he found Kai with his arms crossed and foot tapping on the floor.

"Great job, Evan, you've upset Mom. Was that really all you could think to say?" Kai didn't let up with his foot tapping. Evan raised his eyebrow at his twin.

"You just can't stop, can you?" Evan asked Kai, passing through him as he grabbed his bag. He had already done everything else before he had made his way outside to watch nature awaken, so he had a few extra minutes before he had to start walking to school. He could always ask Jared to give him a ride, but that's something only friends do. And, for the longest time, they were friends... Until Jared decided that he was too cool for Evan and Evan was demoted to family friend.

"Nope, I can't. But, you still love me," Kai leaned against the wall as Evan turned to look at him.

"Drop dead," Evan chuckled at the fake look of offense his brother showed him. It was overly dramatic, just like everything else he did.

"That's a low blow," Kai smirked as he passed Evan on the way down the stairs. Evan chuckled, calmly making his way into the kitchen. He sat at the island, picking at the blueberry pancakes his mother made him.

"The one thing I miss about being alive is mom's blueberry pancakes," Kai pouted as Evan took a bite of his food. Evan raised a brow, it seemed to be an inside joke between the two with the amount of times they've done it.

"That's the only thing you miss?" Evan laughed as Kai tried to smack him on the shoulder, his hand going right through Evan's body.

"I also miss being able to hit you when you're being annoying," Kai laughed along with Evan as Evan's laughter climbed into a higher octave with how hard he was laughing.

Evan finished his pancakes, putting the plate in the sink to be washed later. He could always use the dishwasher, but they didn't really have enough dishes to use that thing. Evan sighed as he made his way out the door, locking it behind him. He walked to school silently. Kai was there, so he could've talked to someone but he didn't want to risk someone walking by and seeing him talking to air. Someone could find out about his ability and then he'd be locked up and tortured and experimented on and Evan couldn't handle that. Evan cried when he got a paper cut, how would he be able to withstand torture?

"You really need to stop talking about torture, Evvie, it freaks people out," Kai told him, making Evan realize he was thinking out loud. Evan blushed, embarrassed at being caught thinking such things.

Evan didn't reply, instead walking just a little bit faster so that he could escape what felt like a thousand eyes on his back, even though he knew it was just Kai. He got to school, still a little earlier than usual. It was the first day after all, it's better to be early than late.

Evan successfully made it to his locker without having a panic attack, that's progress, right? Evan sighed, opening his locker as he blocked out the rest of the world. This is exactly why he hadn't wanted to come to school today. But, this was his last year, so he had to make a good impression on his teachers. That wouldn't happen if he couldn't be bothered to show up on the first day of school.

"Yo, Evan, is it weird to be the first person on the planet to break their arm while jacking off?" Evan's eyes widened as he quickly slammed his locker closed, meeting eyes with the one and only Jared Kleinman.

"Sh-Shut up, Jared. That's not w-what happened and y-you kn-know it!" Evan whisper yelled, glancing around at his only-friend-who-didn't-really-consider-him-a-friend, and wow he really needed to figure out a shorter title for Jared.

"Seriously, though, dude, how'd you manage to break your arm?" Jared looked at him with what could've been mistaken for interest if Evan didn't know any better. Jared was never interested in anything Evan did, unless his car insurance was threatened. No one was interested in Evan Hansen, and, whilst this was nothing new to be figuring out, it was still pretty fucking depressing.

"O-Oh, I, uh, fell... Out of a tree," Evan stuttered out, trying to convince himself as well as Jared that that was all that had happened. He could hear Kai mumbling behind Jared, but he didn't have the patience to figure out what he was saying.

"You fell out of a tree?!" Jared exclaimed, causing people around them to look towards them. Evan's eyes widened as he looked towards his feet, picking at his cast no matter how much it hurt.

"Y-Yeah, I fell out of a tr-tree," Evan quietly said, continuing to pick at his cast, ignoring his own wince at the pain of it.

"What are you, ten? Why were you climbing a tree in the first place?" Something weird was in Jared's voice as he spoke, something that Evan didn't even know. He thought that maybe Jared had changed over the summer, maybe he actually was worried about Evan. Maybe he had seen it, maybe he knew. And so, Evan had hope for his friendship with his once best friend.

"Well, I--!" Evan was interrupted from his would be explanation. He didn't know if it was a good thing he was interrupted, seeing as he didn't actually know what he was about to tell Jared. It wasn't like he could tell Jared the truth about why he was up in that tree, he wasn't about to disappoint Jared even more.

"You know what, never mind. I don't wanna know your sad little tree nerd story. Speaking of stories, you're gonna have to come up with a better story than that to explain the cast," Jared had interrupted Evan. Typical. So, he didn't actually know, nor did he care. He couldn't tell if he was saddened by this fact, he was used to it by now. Jared never seemed to care about his well-being.

"S-Speaking of... Do you maybe wanna... I mean... Doyouwannasignmycast?!" Evan squeaked out, gripping onto the sharpie in his pocket with his cast-free hand.

"What?" Jared seemed too stunned to say anything other than that one word. Evan felt his hands start sweating, which he tried to stop. But, the more he thought about it the more his hands would sweat, so he opted to just let it happen for a minute as to avoid it spreading up his arms. He didn't need his cast to smell like sweat, then he'd have to deal with the stink for months.

"Um, never mind, don't worry about it--!" Evan was once again interrupted. He should be used to it by now. After all, a lot of his school conversations were not only with Jared Kleinman but also with Alana Beck, the most outgoing girl in school.

"Why would I wanna do that?" Jared's words felt like a punch to the gut. He knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, it just led to disappointment every time. Maybe the park would still be open tonight, he could finally stop being a disappointment.

"Because, maybe sometimes you can stop being an asshole?" Kai muttered, audible only to Evan. Evan shook his head, which only Kai and he would know was a sign for Kai to stop speaking.

"W-Well, because... Because w-we're f-fr-friends?" Evan's statement ended up sounding more like a question. He wanted it to seem firm, but apparently he couldn't even get that right.

"Family friends, Evan. We're not friends. Two totally different things," Jared acted like he was reminding a child why they weren't supposed to say a certain thing in public, which very well could be what he was going for.

Evan didn't respond, instead keeping his head down. He didn't want to let Jared see the tears forming in his eyes at the statement, he'd just tease and taunt him even more. It's not like he goes through that enough. Great, now even his mental voice was getting sarcastic.

Whilst he was getting caught up in his destructive thoughts, he didn't notice Jared's attention switch to a tall, lanky male across the hall. "Hey, Connor, love the hair." Oh no, he was about to be an asshole again, wasn't he? He couldn't believe this was happening on the first day of school, that just solidified his hatred for the first day. "Very school shooter chic," And, there was the punch line. Great, now Jared was gonna get punched by Connor Murphy, and he'd probably get blamed because he was standing behind Jared.

"It was a joke," Jared seemed to be getting scared so Evan peeked up from his fixed gaze on the floor, seeing Connor glaring at Jared. He didn't blame Connor, Jared definitely deserved to be hit right now. I mean, who makes a school shooter joke in the middle of a high school hallway? It wasn't exactly the best time for that joke, if it could even be considered a joke.

"Yeah, it was funny. I'm laughing, can't you tell?" Evan squeaked when Connor took a step towards them, hand curling into a fist. "Am I not laughing hard enough for you?"

It took Jared a moment to unfreeze, but when he did he was quick to back away. Before he turned the corner at the end of the hallway though, he realized that he just had to have the last word. "You're such a freak, Murphy."

Evan didn't know why he laughed. Maybe because he could tell how scared Jared was as he said it. Maybe because he knew Jared was running to his first class early, just to escape Connor's wrath. But, it was a mistake. He shouldn't have laughed. He knew he shouldn't have, so why did he do it?

He knew Connor was yelling at him, but he couldn't tell what he was saying. He was too busy freaking out over the fact that he had laughed at the wrong moment, because that's just what he fucking needed, wasn't it? The next thing he knew, he was being flung to the ground. Which, ouch, that hurt his already broken arm. He finally registered the last sentence Connor had yelled at him before pushing him.

"You're the freak!"

He knew he was right, Connor wasn't the freak, Evan was. Evan was a freak among freaks, he couldn't even get one single thing right. He barely registered it as he was helped up by Zoe Murphy, who he was supposed to be crushing on. He didn't know what he told her, but he knew it made her upset as she continued to glare even as she stalked off. He was too consumed in his thoughts to register his surroundings as he made it through his first few classes, then through lunch. He just sat in silence at his table with Jared and Alana, who kept glancing at him worriedly when they thought the other wasn't looking. Kai sat beside him, but nobody else could see him so he didn't really count. The first time he seemed to come out of his thoughts was when the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. He just gathered his bag silently, not even worrying about the eyes he could feel on his back as he walked towards the library. He had to finish his letter for his appointment today, which he remembered his mom telling him last night before she rushed to the hospital for her shift. He couldn't afford to disappoint anybody else.

 

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today is going to be a good day and here's why:

 

Evan sighed harshly, deleting the first line of his letter. Today wasn't going to be a good day, and he knew it from the beginning. He shouldn't have let his mom convince him, even if he hadn't known that she actually did. This entire day just told him that everybody would be better off without him.

 

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today was not a good day. It isn't going to be a good day, or a good week, or even a good year. And, why should it? Because, maybe somebody will actually talk to me this year? Someone who doesn't constantly remind me I'm not their actual friend? Because, maybe I could finally admit to myself, and to somebody else, that no, I don't have a crush on Zoe Murphy. I'm not even into girls! But, who would want to know that, right?

Maybe if I could talk to someone, then maybe... Maybe nothing would be different at all. I wish that everything was different. I wish that I was a part of... Something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean, face it: Would anyone even notice if I disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend,

Me

 

Evan bit his lip, hitting the print button and immediately pulling up another document. If he turned that one in, Dr.Sherman would tell his mom. His mom couldn't find out that her son was feeling this way, it would break her heart. Of course, probably not for long, but he still couldn't do that to his mother. Kai was scoffing at him in the background, but he ignored him as best he could. He was still trying to figure out what he could actually turn in to his therapist when he was startled by a tap on his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his seat as he whipped around, noticing Connor Murphy standing there with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Evan Hansen?" Connor asked, reading the name at the top of the paper. Evan's eyes widened, Connor had his letter. He was suddenly very aware that he had made it sound like he was going to commit suicide. Which... Well, he hadn't entirely ruled out that option, but he wasn't gonna be trying the same method anytime soon. Not after the last failure.

He snapped out of his thoughts when Connor cleared his throat. "So, how did you break your arm?" Evan couldn't help feeling a sense of deja vu after his conversation with Jared that morning.

"Oh, um... I-I fell out of a tree, a-actually," Evan looked up at Connor's barking laughter, though it didn't seem to be mocking like he always heard from Jared. He seemed to be genuinely amused at the fact Evan had managed to fall out of a tree.

"Well, that is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard," Even as Connor said this, he continued to laugh. Evan nervously laughed along, though he actually felt his heart breaking.

"Yeah, it is kinda sad isn't it?" They sat in an awkward silence once Connor realized how he'd darkened the mood. Evan was going to apologized but he was stopped by Connor clearing his throat again.

"No one has signed your cast," Connor observed, seeming to have just noticed it. At Evan's answering shake of his head, he continued. "I can sign it."

"Y-You don't have to," Evan was actually really glad someone had actually offered and it seemed that Connor could tell by the small quirk of his lips.

"Nonsense, here, do you have a pen?" Connor watched as Evan nodded excessively, digging in his pocket for the sharpie his mom had given him earlier that day. He yelped a bit in pain when Connor grabbed his arm, uncapping the sharpie and proceeding to sign Evan's cast in the biggest fucking letters ever seen.

Connor capped the sharpie, seeming satisfied with himself. "There, now we can both pretend to have friends," Connor smirked at Evan, Evan softly smiling back. He wondered if pretend friends were anything like family friends for about half a second before he remembered that even Jared hadn't signed his cast. Connor handed back the sharpie, about to turn and leave when he remembered the paper in his hand.

"Oh, right. This is yours," Connor was about to hand the paper back when he saw the name Zoe pop out of the page. He clenched his jaw before relaxing, thinking over the interactions with Hansen he'd had that day. He didn't even deny it when he called him a freak, so he decided to read from the beginning. And, shit, that was a lot to take in. He couldn't quite figure out how Hansen could put into words his exact feelings. And, if he could, that meant that little shy, quiet Hansen felt the same way. Shit, and he was just about to explode on him had he not have had a rare moment of reflection before he acted.

Evan didn't even notice he had slipped into hyperventilating until he felt his chest tighten. He struggled to breathe, still apologizing between shallow breaths. Connor wasn't supposed to read that, he couldn't believe how stupid he was. Why was he printing out these letters in the middle of a school computer lab?! His breath stopped when he felt Connor grab his arm. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the punch he knew was coming. But, instead of the impact he expected, he heard squeaking against his cast. He hesitantly opened his eyes, seeing Connor writing something down on his cast. When had he gotten the sharpie back?

When Connor leaned back, Evan noticed what he was writing. He had written a number inside the first O of his name and a sentence in the second. "Call me if you want to be a part of something."

Before Evan could even react, Connor had left the computer lab. Evan was shocked. He hadn't expected a phone number instead of a punch. Maybe Connor really was different from what those rumors say about him.

"You know, you just got a guy's number after he read you admitting that you don't like girls. You think he was hitting on you?" Kai smirked at Evan's flustered demeanor after he had successfully snapped him out of his thoughts. He walked out of the computer lab, right through the door. Evan grabbed his bag, stuffing his letter into it before he ran after Kai, nearly ramming into the door after forgetting that he himself couldn't walk through physical objects.

"Come on, Kai, who would want to date a guy who talks to himself?" Evan smiled to himself at the joke, laughing as Kai's hand went through his body after he tried to hit him for the second time that day.

He actually talked to Kai on the walk home, smiling every once in a while when he looked at his cast. Maybe he could be seen by someone. Maybe someone would actually want to be his friend.


	2. "Guess the cat's out of the bag?"

Connor woke up on the second day of school. He honestly didn't know what to do, he hadn't planned on surviving this long. He had a plan, but Evan Hansen threw that plan off course. Now, Connor was supposedly friends with Evan. Well, not really. He had said they could pretend to be friends, but after giving Evan his number he figured he could drop the "pretend".

Evan had witnessed his anger firsthand, admittedly not the worst it's ever been but still. He stayed, even after witnessing him snap, and that's what counted. Had he just found himself an actual friend? He didn't know what to do in a friendship. The last friendship had ended because he got scared of his own feelings and ran away. Literally. It took them two weeks to find him, even though he'd just been staying with his drug dealer.

What if that happened with Evan? He didn't think he could handle losing another friend. After **he** refused to accept his apology, Connor had been broken enough to go through with his second suicide plan. Admittedly, it had been stupid of him. He shouldn't be acting like he was the victim, especially when he was the one who caused the problem in the first place.

The point is, Connor couldn't mess this up. Not if he wanted to stay alive, and at the moment he almost kinda did. _Damn it, Hansen, what have you done to me?_ Connor couldn't help groaning, rolling over on his bed to check the time. _**6:48 A.M**_. Damn, he'd have to bust his ass to make it to school on time. This thought surprised him, seeing as he never cared whether or not he was late to school. Hansen had really done a number on his priorities.

"Connor, sweetie, are you up? It's almost time for school!" Cynthia yelled up to her son, making Connor groan in aggravation. He liked to think he respected his mom, at least more than he respected his father, so he didn't argue back this time. He just jumped up, throwing on his favorite hoodie and tossing his hair up into a messy bun.

"Connor, if you don't get your ass down here I'm leaving you to find your own way to school," Connor quietly cursed at the reminder that he couldn't drive yet. His driving privileges had been taken away after he crashed into a tree. He vaguely heard Cynthia scolding her children for the language but both children payed no mind to her lecture. They'd heard it enough to know it by heart by now if they ever bothered to memorize the words.

Connor sighed, grabbing his signature messenger bag and heading down the stairs. The sight he was met with wasn't an unusual one. Zoe was glaring at him, convinced that he was probably doing drugs and that's why he was so late. Cynthia and Larry could be heard "quietly" arguing in the kitchen, but Connor knew it would escalate the minute Zoe and him were out the door.

"Let's just fucking go," Connor pushed past his sister, voice sounding tired instead of the angry tone he usually used. He wasn't used to the absence of the usual anger he possessed at all times. He'd always be angry, that was a given, but he had more pressing emotions at that moment.

Zoe seemed to notice the change in his demeanor and it set her on edge. "Okay, what the fuck is wrong with you this morning?" Her tone normally would've made Connor angry, but he was slightly distracted by thoughts of a certain tree nerd.

"I heard a rumor that..." Connor started to mumble before Zoe frantically covered his mouth. Of fucking course she heard him.

"Nope. You're not getting away from this that easily. Don't do that rumor shit with me, I'm your fucking sister," Zoe sounded genuinely annoyed that he had even considered using his power on her, because why wouldn't she be. She's annoyed with everything Connor fucking does.

"Doesn't stop you from using your power on me and my stuff," Connor distinctly remembers the time his bed got crushed into a ball. Of course, that was when they were little and Zoe was just starting to play the guitar, but still. He liked that bed.

"For the last time, it was an accident. You got a new bed," Zoe rushed to defend herself, pulling into the school parking lot. Connor looked around, seeing a familiar red hoodie. He bid goodbye to Zoe before rushing to catch up with who he hoped was the right person.

"Mike!" Connor watched Mike freeze before slowly turning around to acknowledge him. He smirked, knowing he'd probably just pissed him off. He was pushed back by a sound wave, leaving ringing in his ears. He chuckled, picking himself back up.

"I told you not to call me Mike," Michael twisted his signature white headphones around his neck, fidgeting with what must have been the sixth pair he's gotten in two years. Connor didn't know what Michael's deal was with those headphones, but they were awfully important to him.

"Hey, Michael," Connor greeted, smirking as Michael rolled his eyes. He was in the grade below him, Zoe's grade, and he was also the only one on campus that he considered a sort of friend. Even if he was his weed dealer.

"Is there something you need, Connor? I just refilled your stash the other day, are you already out?" That's the curse with Michael Mell, he doesn't keep his business private. The entire school must know about it by now, but he has yet to have been called up to the office or been suspended.

"No, I haven't even smoked since then. Parents have been home a lot, strangely. But, that's not why I'm over here," Connor took a look around, seeing people staring. He was used to it, people stared at him a lot, but Michael was uncomfortable with the extra attention so Connor dragged him to the back of the school.

"Dude, I have to go all the way back around to get to my class now," Michael did not seem thrilled with the prospect of exercise. But, he kept the rest of his complaints to himself as Connor gave him a look.

"I need you to tell me all the information you have on Evan Hansen."

* * *

Connor was walking to lunch when he saw it, a familiar cast sticking out from around the next corner he was supposed to turn. He heard a voice speaking and he finally took a step closer. He saw his familiar scrawl on the otherwise blank cast and immediately knew who was sitting there. He was walking closer as silently as he could, trying not to disturb his newfound friend.

"C'mon Kai, are you seriously still stuck on this? No, I didn't call him last night. You know that I hate phone calls," Connor paused in his stride. Who was Kai? Did Hansen already have a friend? Someone that was better for him than Connor? "Connor didn't outright say to text him, what if he hates texting? I don't want to mess up whatever I have with him. He's the first thing even close to a friend I've made since Jared came to his senses and got the fuck out of our friendship as fast as he could." Another pause as if listening for a reply, but Connor couldn't hear anything. That was weird, maybe they were mumbling. "You know why you don't count, Kai," Evan sounded almost sad as he said this.

What did he mean Jared came to his senses? And, why did this "Kai" not count? Connor peered around the corner he'd gotten to silently, seeing Evan sitting there in his usual polo shirt and khakis. But, what was the real surprise was the fact that he seemed to be alone. Why was Evan sitting in a school hallway talking to himself? Did Connor get himself involved with a crazy person?

Connor was so caught up in his inner turmoil, he missed Evan's soft "Huh?". The next thing he knew, Evan was staring at him with fear clear in his eyes. Connor froze for a moment before deciding that he might as well sit down since he'd been caught. He told himself that he was not going to mention his thoughts, but he was never good at controlling his impulses and ended up asking Evan.

"So, why are you talking to yourself in a school hallway?" He hadn't meant to say that. He was trying to control himself, he really was. Fuck, he'd just fucked up his friendship with this guy hadn't he? He needed to learn to be less of an asshole, maybe then he'd have more than two friends.

"U-Um..." Evan couldn't seem to find an answer to that. He kept glancing beside his bag, almost as if he was seeing something there. Connor was seriously beginning to worry for this kid's sanity.

"What, are you scared to tell me you're crazy? Because, have you looked at who you're talking to?" Connor couldn't even begin to describe his hatred for himself at this moment. Why couldn't he just keep his damn mouth shut for once?

"I'm not crazy!" Evan's outburst didn't only surprise Connor, Evan had jumped too. Connor watched him begin to rub a crease in his cast, relaxing a bit when Evan finally made eye contact with him. He saw mostly fear in those green irises, but he spotted a hint of determination in them as well. "And, I-I'm not talking to m-my-myself."

Connor raised an eyebrow at his statement, flicking his eyes to the empty spot as his thoughts traveled in between his present conversation and the one he had with Michael that morning. "So, who is Kai?"

_"If you're wondering about abilities, he's a... Difficult case to explain," Michael had said, somehow knowing what he was about to ask._

"He's my brother," Evan stated, surprising himself and Connor with his lack of stutter. Evan smiled slightly, head tilting to the side as if Kai had said something.

_"What does that mean?" Connor asked in reply. Michael needed to be straightforward with his answers, but he seemed to be scared to say anything about the topic of Evan Hansen._

"So, what? Is he invisible or something? And, if so, why can't I hear him?" Connor really didn't want to be so blunt but it seemed to be the only way he knew how to get answers out of Evan Hansen.

_"He seems to have abilities, but he doesn't have a mark," Michael explained._

"No, he's not invisible. You can't hear him because..." Evan trailed off, seemingly scared to say what he was about to say.

_Michael sighed. "You know how Brooke has the ability to sense other Parahumans?" At Connor's answering nod he continued. "She sensed Evan before he walked into our class on the first day of our freshman year. But, when we checked, he had no mark."_

Connor was slightly scared to find out the answer to be honest. After his conversation with Michael that morning, he'd been meaning to check with Evan about abilities. But, what if this was one of those "difficult cases", as Michael calls them, that ended in the innocent dying because they knew too much. Or, because the power was simply too dangerous. But, he knew he'd never forgive himself if he blew past this opportunity to find out the truth about Evan Hansen. Even if Evan was dangerous, or just plain crazy and Brooke's power simply had an off day, Connor wouldn't give up on him. After all, he had agreed to be his friend. So, he didn't offer to let it go, even if he was scared of his own unknown reaction.

"You can't hear him... B-Because he's... Because he's dead," Evan finally admitted, staring down at his hands that had clasped together on his lap. Connor gaped at Evan. He did have powers. Powers that seemed to involve the dead apparently. He had heard about someone who had been able to connect with the afterlife, but he'd never met anyone with that kind of power. It was a rare type of power, and considered highly dangerous for reasons unknown. But, he would stay true to his promise to himself. Even if Evan was potentially dangerous, he wasn't going to run away. Not this time.

"Oh, that must suck. I'd hate to be dead, smoking would be useless," Evan let out an incredulous laugh at Connor's joke and Connor couldn't help but laugh along.

"K-Kai says... Kai says to tell you that it does suck. He doesn't know about the smoking part, but he sure does miss food," Evan continued to chuckle at his brother's statement. Connor was glad that the hallways were empty right then, because he sounded like a dying hyena at that statement.

"Wow, I think that's the most I've laughed at something in... I don't know how long. Thanks Hansen, other Hansen," Connor stood up as the bell rang, gathering his bag that he had dropped beside him sometime during their enlightening conversation.

Evan still seemed pleasantly surprised that he wasn't being locked up because of his potentially dangerous abilities. Honestly, Connor could see why. Even if his ability, the power of suggestion, was slightly normal, everyone seemed to think that he would use his powers for evil purposes, or some bullshit like that. On a whim, he had once told his sister a rumor about her staying in the rain for two hours. She actually walked outside and just stood in the driveway for two hours. She was fucking pissed at him when she came back to her senses. So, although he mostly just used them to get out of uncomfortable situations, he understood why people feared his ability. At any time he could tell someone to stab themselves with a pencil and they'd do it, simply because his power didn't allow them to refuse. He always had to be careful with his wording because of his ability, mostly so that he didn't accidentally cause a murder in the school hallways.

Getting to his desk in his next class wasn't so hard that day, it seemed. He had too much on his mind to actually pay attention, but his teachers still seemed pleasantly surprised when he showed up to class relatively on time. He's going to enjoy the expressions on Larry's face when he gets home. The school gives Larry and Cynthia constant updates on Connor's whereabouts, most of the time just telling them that he'd skipped class again out of pure habit before correcting themselves and saying that he had showed up near the end of the class and calling it progress. The school board didn't want to deal with the **powerful** repercussions that upsetting Connor could have on their property.

He allowed himself to be whisked away into the land of his thoughts. This time, instead of mantras of his self-hatred, they were confusing thoughts about a certain green-eyed potentially dangerous boy. He recognized the look in Evan's eyes when he thought Connor was going to end their friendship because of his connection to the afterlife. He knew what that look was, of course, because he'd seen it in his own eyes more times than he could count. The kid thought he was alone, probably because he had been all his life.

After talking about abilities, Michael had went on to say that Evan had only ever really been seen with Jared Kleinman at school for his entire life. Evan wasn't what you'd call socially-adept. Jared seemed to be Evan's only friend, and even that was a stretch. He had heard, on several occasions, Jared calling Evan his "family-friend." So, although it seemed like he had someone, Evan was about as ostracized by his peers as Connor, but for different reasons. People weren't scared of Evan because of his powers, they were judgmental because they thought that he didn't have powers, even at age 18.

Thoughts like these continued to swarm around Connor's head as he went through his day, thoughts that made him realize that he and Evan were more alike than he had originally thought. Before he knew it, school had ended and he made his way to Zoe's car. He still wasn't allowed to drive his own, mostly because he wrapped the old one around a tree and his parents were still upset with him about that, so Zoe was given the task of taking him and herself to school.

"Where did you go during lunch today? You promised to sit with me this year so that I can give feedback to the parental authorities," Zoe questioned him as soon as he buckled his seat belt. He couldn't go one fucking day without his family's nagging could he? To be fair, though, Zoe was only doing this because their parents were nosy and didn't want to set off the ticking time bomb that is their son. Zoe was usually pretty laid back, and it probably helped that he wasn't nearly as bad with her as he was with their father.

"I was in the hallways. Sat with a friend," Short answers with the least amount of details as possible were his specialty. He wasn't exactly about to spill his entire day to his younger sister. Not only did it start off badly - bullies were always worse at the beginning of the year, but why did they always seem to target him specifically? - but he found out this huge ass secret about a kid in his grade who actually made him fucking laugh out loud. His sister didn't need to know all the details about his high school life.

"Weed dealers don't exactly count as friends, dork," Even though she said it with a smile, Connor couldn't tell whether or not she was being even remotely serious. It would've pissed him off coming from anybody else, but Zoe was easier to talk to than most people because she understood the struggle of having potentially dangerous powers.

"First of all, I'm not the only one of us who buys that shit. Second, you know as well as I do that I would have just said that I was sitting with Michael if I was talking about my weed dealer," Connor smirked at the blatant shock on Zoe's face. He almost laughed again when her lips took on a pout.

"It was a few times, Con, not like I’m addicted or anything. Anyways, who was this mysterious friend that you sat with today?” Could he tell her? Telling her could risk her finding out about Evan’s power. Connor didn’t exactly have a good filter when he was with his little sister, and this time he couldn’t afford to let his words get away from him. If he were to slip up, tell her about Evan’s powers, would she be okay? Zoe had some pretty dangerous powers, as did Connor, but Evan’s powers were something that could possibly have him hunted down and thrown in a lab. But, then again, Zoe was really good at keeping a secret…

“Evan,” Was all Connor was going to give. He didn’t know if there were any other Evans at their school, but he was going to take his chances. He really didn’t want to spill too much about Evan and end up having Evan hate him for the rest of their lives. He had just become friends with this boy and it seemed like it would crush the both of them if that friendship ended.

“Evan? Evan Hansen? Anxious kid, blonde hair, green eyes, kind of weird?” Connor bristled at that last comment. Zoe probably didn’t mean anything by it, but Connor was feeling oddly protective over this boy who he had come to know during these two days.

“What do you mean, kind of weird?” Connor did his best to keep his tone controlled, one wrong move and he could lose control of his powers.

“I just mean… Haven’t you seen him talking to himself? He seems like one of the… Crazy ones,” Zoe sounded worried, but Connor was getting angry.

“Crazy ones? Did you ever consider that maybe he’s not talking to himself, maybe he’s talking to someone else? Someone important enough to him that he’d risk being thought of as crazy just so that they could have a conversation,” Connor turned to muttering to himself by the end of his sentence. “It’s not like he wished to connect with the afterlife.”

Just then, Connor felt the car come screeching to a halt. He turned to glare at his sister, confused as the why she had stopped in the middle of the, albeit empty, road. “Evan’s connected to the afterlife?!” He heard her screech just as he was about to yell at her to start moving the car again.

He paused, allowing himself time to register the words that just came out of her mouth. When it finally clicked, his eyes widened. Shrugging awkwardly, he stated (read: questioned), “Guess the cat’s out of the bag?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit, drama? Here in the beginning? Bet you didn't expect it did ya? Nah, you totally did if you've read anything else of mine. Surprised I didn't have anything overly dramatic in the first chapter, honestly. Lol.


End file.
